TNT – Saturday Night “Humor While We Wait” Posted by Mot at TNT

Mot:  I had a phone conversation today with a very nice chap. This is how it went:

 “Hello sir, how are you today?”

“I’m very well, thank you for asking. And how are you? And more to the point, WHO are you?”

“Sir, my name is Mike, and I’m calling you from Microsoft”

“Mike from Microsoft, eh?

” Yes, sir – MICROSOFT, the computer company. I’m calling to tell you that we have found a problem with your computer and -“

“REALLY?? Well, that’s quite concerning……”

“Yes sir, it can become very serious indeed, but thankfully I will be able to fix it for you. Now, if you -”

“No, I meant it’s very concerning because you see I don’t HAVE a computer”

“You don’t?”

“I don’t”

“Ahh, it must be a problem on your laptop sir”

“Don’t have one”

“Ipad?”

“Nope”

“Tablet?”

“Nope, I have none of those things. As a matter of fact, I don’t even have a telephone”

After a few seconds of silence he said “Ah sir, you are lying to me now!”

I said “Well, you started it!!” and put the phone down.

************

Mot:  “From the top of my head down to my waist I have nothing to declare.”

An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, “Father, may I ask a favor”

“Of course child. What may I do for you”

“Well, I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday. It is unopened but well over the customs limits and I’m afraid they’ll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me.. Hide it under your robes perhaps”

“I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie.”

“With your honest face, Father, no one will question you,” she replied.

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go first. The official asked, “Father, do you have anything to declare”

“From the top of my head down to my waist I have nothing to declare.”

The official thought this answer strange, so asked, “And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor”

Father replied, “I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, which is, to date, unused.”

Roaring with laughter, the official said, “Go ahead, Father. Next please!”